How to Change Toxic Relationships by Savannah Smoke

Author:Savannah Smoke
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Savannah Smoke
Published: 2020-08-10T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 7

MONEY MANIPULATIONS

IF YOU HAVE FOUND YOURSELF in a narcissistic relationship, you are positively running dysfunctional programs around money. Narcissists love money. Money is ego validation. Money is control. Money is power. There are a few ways that our personal money traumas can show up in life and these dysfunctional relationships.

For those people who have money, hard work ethic, connections they need, or some valuable possessions, this could manifest in several ways. The fundamental issue may be that you have to be a resource to someone to be loved. Meaning you need to give someone something or provide them with finances, perks, and gifts to feel valuable and deserving of their friendship or relationship. You do not think on your own without giving away “stuff” you deserve love. You are carrying the matching counterpart in this relationship.

Narcissists use people for what they can receive. They saw you and the pencil started to work out exactly how this fits their agenda. Hmmmm financial stability, maybe some property, or an inheritance possibility. You give way more than you take whether it be energy, money, or attention. Narcissist relationships tilt in their favor. Remember who we are talking about here. The snake in the tree of Garden of Eden luring in Adam and Eve.

They are not capable of a real relationship, only in seeing you and your good-hearted nature as a commodity that fits their needs. In fact, they are entirely unrealistic about what is fair in contributing to the relationship. Everything must end up with them having the advantage. They are worth more, deserve the best, and it should all come to them without much effort on their part.

Internally, you must be the opposite match. Everything is a mirror where you carry those inner wounds. You must be a commodity, give treats, ego props, or pay for things to have relationships and friends. With your personality alone, you are not enough. Givers attract takers. Are you tired of one-way street relationships yet?

The perfect person shows up to take, take, and take. And remember, narcissists are wired to make you feel like it’s never enough to keep you plugging away, giving more and more. They will shame you for every dollar you spend. You will walk on eggshells about what you do while they feel valid spending money frivolously on their eccentric needs.

Or the opposite situation can occur. The Empath can be the “stay at home” partner who has NO money. Perhaps they are the parent who chooses to be home and raise the kids, or they get an illness that forces them out of being able to work. Maybe they have a family business together, and the narcissist has all the control. There are many ways a narcissist can weed into our lives and take over the finances. Lots of different games and power plays happen.

They will play games, manipulate, and twist all situations around money. You may think they are a fantastic provider. Yet, some things don’t match up — one moment they are giving.

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